By Carissa Shaw, PGA
“If you could have it all your way, what would it look like?”
This was a question posed to me while I was working endless hours, hadn’t taken a vacation in years and felt guilty every time I asked for a day off. I was tired of standing behind the counter and working for a paycheck that came with a never-ending list of responsibilities, never knowing when I would work next week or if I would get out of work on time. But I LOVED my job. I LOVED the members. I LOVED the juniors. But life was passing me by. I wasn’t taking care of myself, and I knew I needed a change.
When I worked up the courage to sit with my boss and discuss my frustrations, he said, “Tell me what you want to do.” This statement changed my life and allowed me to dream. To think to myself, “If I could have it all my way, what would it look like?” The answer…it would look like freedom. It would look like no one knowing what I was doing, how much I was working or how much money I was making. It would look guilt-free.
My passion has always been in the teaching and coaching space. However, I was always being pulled behind the counter, back into the building, when I knew my true place to make a difference was on the grass. It felt like the teaching and coaching were always in addition to my “hours” clocked, and junior golf would fall on my “days off.” It was a private club where there was an endless calendar of events, and the idea of asking for a day off didn’t come without guilt or making up for it with no days off on the backend.
I was burned out and ready to leave the business. I didn’t believe there was any way I would ever have control of my calendar, enjoy weekends off or even take a vacation. There were no professionals around me who had the life I wanted, male or female. When I looked at the business during that period, there wasn’t a job out there that I wanted. Working hard was a badge of honor, and the hours were long. The days off were few and far between, and if you didn’t fall into that culture, you were just “entitled.” PGA of America Golf Professionals give everything to their facilities and often sacrifice their families and themselves in the process. I had become a victim of that in 2017, and I knew I didn’t want to go back.
In our industry, we are known to “hang our hat” somewhere. This is the place you work – your office – your home away from home. With every room you enter, you introduce yourself, followed by the facility at which you work. If you care about your career growth, your facility often corresponds to your “worth.” The better the golf course, the better the pro you work for, the stronger the resume. This is your identity.
In the winter of 2020, I rocked my newborn baby in my arms, tears streaming down my face as “Carissa Shaw, Unaffiliated.” Everything I worked toward was put on pause because I didn’t know where I fit in anymore. So, I made the difficult decision to walk away from it all. I couldn’t see an example of what it looked like to be a mom in our business. I didn’t see an example of where we showed up for our families, and I even had a hard time seeing an example of where we showed up for ourselves.
There was nothing I wanted more than to be a mom. I wanted to grow my family, have a happy marriage, never miss a soccer game and be there when my family needed me. To take the vacations I earned and to be in control of my finances. The more I work, the more I make. The less I work, the less I make. I wanted it to be my choice, and not be told to do more and more for the same paycheck. I didn’t believe the grass was greener anywhere else, so in a last-ditch effort, I started my own “facility.” I bet on myself.
The competitor in me saw this as a challenge, as an opportunity to do it differently. To be an example for the next generation of women coming into the business. I wanted to show my children what it was like to have a mom who LOVED her job—a mom who was more than just their mom. A mom who made a difference every time she walked out the door. This became my passion. How can I show up for my family first and still leave this business better than I found it?
In 2020, I started my own company, “Better Together Golf.” Because…“Golf is Better Together.” Everything I loved was in the group coaching space. Seeing people come together, creating a welcoming culture and sense of community, was my greatest joy, and the name encompassed that. Now remember, I still had nowhere to “hang my hat.” The industry is less than 6 percent female, and women are always looking for female coaching. Why would I “hang my hat” at one place?
I started my own business so I could “hang my hat” at home and contract with like-minded facilities. These were facilities that could think outside the box, needed help with programming and supported my “family first” philosophy. By working at three different facilities, the business now appears to have 3x as many females teaching golf, and my footprint is making a greater impact in less time.
The other upside, not being tied to one facility means no one knows what I’m doing when I am not at their facility. No one would be able to have their finger on me. I could be an independent contractor who could establish certain days, times and programs that I would offer well in advance, and I would finally have autonomy over my schedule…over my LIFE.
It is now 2025, and I am a mom to a 4 1/2-year-old boy and a three-year-old girl. I have been home with my children full-time for the past 4 1/2 years while still maintaining a part-time career as a PGA of America Golf Professional, Chapter President, Pacific Northwest PGA Section Board Member and National Committee Member. It has been a journey, and one of the toughest seasons of my life.
When I walk out the door, my children get to see their mom excited to go to work, while also knowing she will find a way to be home for bedtime. She will be on the sidelines and never miss the big moments. They get to see a mom who walks in the door re-energized and full of gratitude after a day on the grass where she was able to make a difference. They get to see a mom chasing her dreams and building the life she always wanted. It’s a life focused on family over facility. They get to see their mom HAPPY, and to date, that is my greatest accomplishment.
Carissa Shaw is a PGA of America Golf Professional in the Pacific Northwest PGA Section who loves creating instructional programs with an emphasis on culture and community. She believes golf is “better together” and enjoys coaching women and juniors in a social environment. Her goal is to increase diversity within the game and build programs that focus on accessibility and inclusivity. Her passion is sparking a love for golf, and she strives to attract as many people to the game as possible, so they can play for a lifetime while making lasting relationships along the way.
