By Melissa Yeazell, PGA
If there is one thing I can give back to the game of golf, it would be a kaleidoscope of perspective. My relationships with golf include player, teacher, coach, caddy, facility owner, grounds stewardess and my favorite, golf mom. As a player, I played on my high school boys’ team, captained the Xavier University Women’s Golf Team, and at 33 with three kids, went to the LPGA Tour Qualifying Tournament for the first of six attempts. As a teacher and coach, I have taught all ages and genders in the private and public sectors and have coached high school boys and collegiate women. And if you had told me as a junior golfer that one day I would own a golf course, have two daughters who play collegiate golf, and that all three of us would compete in a USGA Championship, I would not have believed you.
Through all these experiences and road trips, my biggest takeaway is to own your game. My ladies at Northern Kentucky University (NKU) might be tired of hearing me say it, but to truly embody the game of golf, you must make the game yours. Our team mantra is “We own our games by knowing who we are and by sticking to our process.”
So, what does that mean? It means to know who you are as a person on and off the golf course. It means knowing where you fall short and what you need to work on. And maybe the most difficult part is celebrating your successes and being grateful for the journey. For my ladies, it is literally knowing how far they carry each club in their bag, understanding why their golf swing works, knowing their swing flaws and how to fix them and understanding when to be aggressive and when to be confidently conservative. Their games belong to them, not me, not to mom or dad or grandpa or their swing coach at home, but them!
My grandpa gifted me the game of golf, and for the longest time, I thought he held the keys to it. I never wanted to call him after a poor round because I thought he would be disappointed in me. He was the one who took me to lessons and practice and said, “I think it’s time we get you new clubs.” It wasn’t until I was much older and had my own kids that I knew that I probably never let him down.
Owning my game didn’t become a reality until I began playing professionally. My good friend, Tim Kremer, was on my bag the first time I went to LPGA Tour Qualifying. After my final round of Stage 1, he said, “You need to work on your putting stroke.” That one stung. I thought I was a good enough putter. In my senior year of high school, I was voted “most likely to succeed.” I always did the work and always did what my teachers and mentors told me to do. But the thing I was missing was “why.” Why do I need to do it this way? Why does that make me a better golfer? Why doesn’t my golf ball get started on my intended line? Why does my speed get bad? I was going through the motions and doing what was asked of me, but I wasn’t owning it. I wasn’t understanding what made me a good player, what made me tick and what I needed to know and understand to get better. Thirteen years later, I know my body and my mind better. I know what drills and processes I need to play my best. I know where to look when things aren’t up to par.
My daughters are very different in the way they own their games. My oldest daughter, Ellie, played golf in high school and by the time she was looking at colleges, she was burned out and was ready to retire. Ellie has natural talent, but, at the time, lacked desire. My daughter, Clare, has wanted to play professional golf since her freshman year of high school. Clare is talented, has the desire, and has always had to work very hard.
After Ellie’s sophomore year at the University of Findlay, she came home and stated that she wanted to play college golf. Playing at the University of Findlay is not for the faint of heart. Findlay won the NCAA DII National Championship in 2022 and has made six consecutive appearances to the medal match play portion of the championship. Ellie had a strong high school career, can carry her driver 275 yards, and had no issue convincing her coach that she was worthy. Ellie spent most of her fall season in 2024 on the bubble of qualifying for tournaments. She put in the work over the winter and by spring she had earned her spot in the top five, competed in the NCAA DII National Championship, and won her first match for the team during the medal match play.
Ellie is very quiet about owning her game. She goes about her work without complaining. She knows her drills. She knows her yardages. She knows what is expected of her and what it takes to compete. She might come off as standoffish as she is usually practicing by herself with little emotion. But that is her when she is working hard at something. Her desire is quiet but strong.
Clare, my middle child, is very different from her sister. Clare had a very successful junior golf career and was committed to playing golf in college. When Clare performed poorly on the golf course, it was everyone else’s fault and not her own. If she made bad swings, it was her swing coach’s fault. If I were caddying for her, it was my fault that she didn’t hit the green or make the putt. Clare had no problem putting in the work on the course or in the gym, but when it came to performance flaws, she didn’t own them. Clare has always leaned on others to tell her what to do and how to do it, and finally, this year, something changed. And unfortunately, it took several very painful experiences on the golf course before she began to see that she was the person controlling the golf club (or not controlling it) and hitting the shots (or missing them). Something had clicked for her. She may never tell me what changed, but golf will grow you if you allow it.
More than once, parents have asked how I am able to just sit back and watch while my daughters are playing golf. For me, it is easy. I have always wanted them to decide if golf was the right sport for them. They were never forced to join my junior programs or play golf on the course with me. They decided for themselves. And I am perfectly happy owning my role as golf mom when I get the opportunity.
Melissa Yeazell, PGA, is co-owner of Tri County Golf Ranch in Springdale, Ohio, and the Women’s Associate Head Coach at Northern Kentucky University. She still competes in local Southern Ohio PGA events and state opens across the country. When Melissa isn’t coaching, giving lessons, mowing greens or walking her pups, she is watching her daughters play golf.
